Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize