Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
