What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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