I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just tell him i said nine months
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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