I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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