Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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