I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
