So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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