I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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