i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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