Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
