He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
