we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
