Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
