Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
