His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
