Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
