I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
