kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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