He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
