Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
