in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
cat food counts as protein by the way
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
