So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
