Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
