question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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