he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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