well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
