tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Found the puke drawer
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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