I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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