tell your sister to shave her snatch
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
