butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
