we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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