Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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