well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
