I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
