is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
