Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
