Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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