Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
