I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
