doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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