hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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