Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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