Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
