You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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