your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize