Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
