i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
