How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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