the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
