I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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