glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Randomize