There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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