Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
