they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Fuck appropriateness.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
