I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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