I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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