thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize