its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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