I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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