i would punch a child for taco bell
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
