stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
