piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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