i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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