There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize