i'm lost and i look like a hooker
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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