'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
