cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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