just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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