You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
