Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
