Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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