lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
