I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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