It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
